I am a shrew.
Only sometimes am I shrewish. Unfortunately, those times are often when my husband is eating something. I know that I am the one who had the surgery. I know that I am the one who decided to do something drastic and lose weight and get healthy. And I know that I can't expect him to change his eating habits for me or because I am changing mine.
So why do I say awful things about what he's eating sometimes?
When we discussed the surgery and decided to forge ahead with it, he said something like "maybe I will eat better too." And part of my mind clung to that. It is definitely better. I still plan, shop for and cook dinner most of the time. He's rarely complained about anything I've made. The turkey sausage lasagna with whole-wheat pasta, he didn't care for. But he ate the taco salad with ground turkey breast, 2 % milk cheese and baked tortilla chips with relish.
Most of the time, his breakfasts are better. We only buy skim milk now. Lunch is kind of a mix. He has "whitewheat" bread, reduced fat peanut butter and regular jam. Diet Coke. A banana. And chips, which may or may not be baked depending on who bought them.
He still eats barely any vegetables and the banana in his lunch is usually his only fruit of the day. He does get some whole grains but only when I sneak them in (like in that "whitewheat" bread) or make them palatable (he doesn't mind the whole wheat blended pastas).
Two hours after dinner, he wants a snack. I find myself asking if he's really hungry or just bored. If we hit a drive-thru (which is less than once a week, these days), he usually gets the biggest combo meal they have. I find myself asking if he really needs all of that. The other night, he went into a convenience store and grabbed a packaged sticky bun. I looked at the nutrition facts out of curiosity and couldn't avoid exclaiming when I saw 500 calories and 30 grams of fat. And I hear myself and I hate it. I never want anybody nitpicking at my food choices, so why am I doing it to him?
And he weighs about 20 pounds less than I do right now, so who am I? Well, he has type II diabetes and high blood pressure. He never exercises. So I worry. I want him to be healthy. I want him to be around forever.
mental exertion vs physical exertion
8 years ago
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Well, thanks for putting me off sticky buns. I shudder to think what a TJ Cinnamon's roll must contain.
ReplyDeleteIt probably feels weird to you when you find yourself critiquing someone else's diet. I don't think that you're really a shrew; I think that you've found something that benefits you and you'd like to share it.
Losing weight is a decision your husband really needs to make on his own. As you have found out, it doesn't work if someone else makes you diet.
Since you're the cook, I would suggest continuing to feed him the healthy foods you're making for yourself, with the caveat that if he really hates something, he shouldn't be forced to eat it.
As for his snacks and drive-through foods: honestly, eating these items are his decision. Jumping on him will either start an argument or make him start sneaking food behind your back. Take comfort in the fact that at least he's getting healthier food at home!
Just my thoughts.
You're quite right, Sarah. I never force him to eat anything he doesn't like, I just ask that he give things a try. I work pretty hard to make sure that the dinners I cook will be appealing to him as well as healthy. What he chooses to buy and eat on his own is out of my control and I need to just keep my mouth shut about it.
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