Downward spiral.

Another family meal this weekend. The second one post-surgery didn't count; it was at the wedding reception and chaos abounded. This was at a restaurant and all went just fine. I ate half my salad, a third of my entree and half my dessert. But...OK, I keep saying I did this for me. And I did. But sometime it'll be nice if someone other than Beau notices. I've lost more than 40 pounds, people. Does it not show? I was wearing a loose tunic-style top over capri pants (which were they're too big), but even I could tell.

Sigh. OK, Beau has pointed out certain ways in which he has noticed. And I notice. That is enough.

Maybe when I reach 80 pounds gone, it'll be more obvious? Or they're just talking about me amongst themselves because they figure I'll gain it back like I did last time. Who knows? I wish I could say that I didn't care. But I do, a little. I just want to be "normal" -- whatever that means.

On the way to the restaurant, we passed an amusement park and at the same time, Beau and I said, "Wonder when we'll go back?" Well, when I'm not in pain from squeezing myself into those little seats. Thinking back to the last time we were there...probably another 15-20 pounds away.