Even on my beloved SparkPeople, there are some times when I know that I'm getting defensive about my choice of lapband surgery. People can be very supercilious and uppity about those of us who chose surgery. They think that surgery is cheating and/or taking the easy way out. People who choose surgery are weak, people who do not are strong. Even some people who are clearly struggling in their weight loss journey have this "oh, but I'm not going to get surgery."
Yes, it's a really drastic step. But being morbidly obese is pretty damn drastic too, isn't it? Why would you just dismiss the tools available to you out of hand, without knowing much about them? I say that because I think a lot of these comments come from a place of ignorance.
If you read through my blog, you'll see that surgery is not an easy way out. I still have to struggle and work at it every day. But I have had more success than I have ever had on any other diet or weight loss attempt. And I don't worry that I'll fall off the wagon and gain it all back, either. I feel confident that those 80 pounds are gone for good. I could completely sabotage myself...it's called "eating around the band." But I trust that I won't. The band is just a tool. I have to use it. It's not some panacea.
My other rant? I can't tell you what diet I'm on, because I'm not on a diet. Yes, diet just basically means "what you eat," but we tend to use one of its secondary definitions, meaning restricting what we eat for the purposes of losing weight, instead. It's become kind of a dirty word. It implies eating things you don't like, not eating things you do like, feeling like you're starving, feeling bad if you eat something that isn't on some approved list. To me, anyway. It's no way to live. I've lost weight on diets, but I've always gained it back plus some, because I couldn't diet forever.
The phrase for me now is "lifestyle change." It means I eat chocolate, ice cream, cheesecake, french fries, potato chips, gummy bears and whatever else, and rarely do I feel a twinge of guilt about any it (I say rarely because old habits die hard). Why? Because they're not "bad foods." There are no bad foods. There are just foods I eat on rare occasions, in small amounts. Because I'm not trying so hard to stay away from them, they're not as tempting. I physically can't eat huge portions of them when they are around, which is one of the ways that the band helps me.
Guess I'm just feeling curmugeonly lately. I've lost 80 pounds, and my success is not any less impressive because I chose lapband, dammit! :)
mental exertion vs physical exertion
8 years ago
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I really and truly think you are one of the smartest people out there when it comes to approaching and going about your lifestyle change and your life with the band. You are smart, reasonable, balanced, and realistic. The only thing I'd like to see more from you is increased confidence and belief in yourself that what I just said is true. Basically, when you read other people saying sabotaging or ignorant thoughts, I want to see the words roll of your back like water on a duck. You can just feel sympathy and empathy for those people and wish them well, but feel confident that you are doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteBecause frankly, I *do* feel sorry for those people! They don't "get" what balance really is and how important it is, not to mention helpful and healthy. We can only hope that they do because we want everyone to be happy, healthy, and successful.
Now, I want a bite of a brownie, brb. heeheehee ;)
I also meant to say that I've been thinking lately about what I'm going to tell my inlaws when I see them at Thanksgiving this year. My MIL has already seen me with some weight loss, but she doesn't know about the band. I don't intend to tell her, either, because I don't want to deal with it. Who knows, maybe she'll be supportive, but I can't feel confident of that. And even if she is, she might tell a bunch of people I don't want to tell, so it's just easier for me to not say anything.
ReplyDeleteWhen she was visiting a couple months ago, I mentioned I was working hard on just eating less and I had lost weight. (She noticed and mentioned it.) I plan to stick with that story, too, but I admit I'm a little worried about people encouraging me to eat more on Thanksgiving day itself because surely you can make an exception for Thanksgiving, right?? "It's only one day," right?? Well, for me it's not, as you know. I might have to resort to white lies, or put lots of food on my plate, only eat what I can and then pretend that I ate a whole bunch. You know, move around the room so no one knows for sure how little I ate. ;)
The other thing I'm thinking about is saying what kind of "diet" I'm on. Instead of being on a diet, I will say, "I'm just eating less, in general." Or, I might say I'm on a portion control diet.
I'm also going to have to visit a GNC store soon after we land there so I can get some protein supplements (so I don't have to take them on the plane). I've found portable supplements for everything else (calcium, vitamins, EFA, fiber, etc.), so I think I'm good there. Being secretive is hard, man, hard I tell ya! ;)
You are too kind! I really appreciate it. I definitely have a problem believing in myself and being confident. Working on it, I promise. =)
ReplyDeleteIt has been difficult at times for me to keep the band from my family, especially at celebrations when they expect you to eat more and might give you a funny look if you don't. I've just stuck to saying that I am committed to portion control and choosing healthier foods. Ultimately it's our choice as to who we tell -- I think it's very personal. I'm sure Thanksgiving will be fine as long as you try to relax (hard to do, I know). I find I have a more difficult time focusing on eating slowly and carefully when I'm tense.