Beau Woes

As I've mentioned, my husband has type II diabetes and high blood pressure, and he doesn't really take care of himself. It gets me really upset sometimes. We'll have long talks about it, and he'll promise to start "doing better" but I know from experience that it isn't likely to happen. He tells me during those talks that he understands that I'm worried about his health and wants me to help. At the same time, though, when I offer that help, he can get really mad at me.

Here's an example. He intended to eat leftover macaroni & cheese, along with some green beans, for lunch. I made the mac & cheese, and while not the best thing in the world for him to eat, it was a healthier version with "hidden" veggies in the sauce and whole wheat pasta. He didn't love it but said he would eat it. Then he claimed the mac & cheese had gone bad, which seemed unlikely to me, but OK. He asked what he should eat, and I suggested a frozen dinner. He ate the green beans.

Beau stuck the frozen dinner in the microwave, and then I heard more shuffling around in the kitchen. Turns out he was opening a container of chocolate banana nut muffins (thankfully there are only a couple left). I asked why he was eating one, and he said that he wanted something "to munch on" which his lunch was heating up. So I said, well, you just ate those green beans, your lunch will be ready in 5 minutes, and the frozen dinner includes a dessert. So why not wait and see if you're still hungry afterward?

He got really angry at me and yelled, "Fine! You're right! Fine!"

He has no sense of head hunger. At all. He doesn't contemplate any of that, although we've discussed it. He claims that he's hungry every single time. He grazes pretty much every night after dinner. An hour or less after we eat, he's rummaging around. If there isn't any kind of dessert that suits him, he'll make toast with loads of butter and strawberry jam. He's clearly a carb addict. If there's any kind of chocolate, he eats that. And some nuts. And maybe some chips. It just goes and goes until bedtime. When I call him on it, he says that he's hungry. So I've tried to make more filling meals while keeping the portions in check. Or he says that he's just eating "a little" of each thing. OK, but that adds up when you eat and eat over a 3 or 4 hour time span. I've suggested high protein snacks because his simple carb ones obviously aren't doing the job, but most of the time they don't appeal to him. He loves nuts, but doesn't want to portion them out and eats them out of the can.

So...it's frustrating. He wants my help, but he doesn't. I stopped suggesting walking in the park or joining in when I exercise. I just feel so helpless. I want my Beau to be around forever. Or as close as we can get it. And I can't make him do anything. So I'm...yeah, helpless.