OK, I'm officially not in any lapband communities right now. I just can't deal with it. I'm tired of reading posts from people who appear to be willfully ignorant and not actually interested in learning anything, despite what they may claim. They want some kind of validation of their bad or just plain stupid behavior. Sorry, not going to happen.

I'd like to talk to people who are actually informed and interested in learning from other people. I'd like to learn from others. But right now, it's just not happening really in any community/forum/site I've been reading. Just a lot of whining and crowing about doing stupid things. Yes, I know that I'm being judgmental. I am not even close to perfect. We are all different, our surgeon's orders are all different. But I'm pretty sure that eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's every day, for example, is universally A Bad Idea. That might be why you are not losing weight.

It makes me sad to see that people have essentially just wasted their time and money. Maybe they expected a miracle cure. Just have this band put in and the pounds melt away with no effort on your part. I sure hope no surgeon has spun it that way. I thought for awhile that I could be helpful, because I used to love reading others' stories and advice myself. But you can't help anybody who doesn't actually want to be helped, now can you? So instead of getting all irritated, I'm just going to be selfish and focus on my own junk.

Speaking of...I am now at 199. Crazy. According to my ticker, I just have 24 pounds left to lose. But when I look at my body, that doesn't seem right to me. Surely I need to lose more. I still have a gut and wobbly thighs, although admittedly some of that is loose skin. I'm keeping my goal weight as is for now though. We'll see how I feel when and if I get there.

I'm also really pissed that I didn't make myself go shopping for clothes this weekend. I just hate doing it. But I also hate wearing baggy sloppy pants. I got 3 new shirts in the mail yesterday but I need pants. Right now I have 2 pairs of size 18 jeans that are on the loose side but fit well, 1 pair size 18 that fits OK but not great (and they're out of style so I don't wear them often). I have two pairs of black pants, both too big at size 20, one really too faded to wear anymore. The other has some picky area on the leg. I forgot about it until after I'd gotten to work today. There's a grey pair of pants that are way too big at size 22 and they don't have belt loops so I can't really make them work anymore.

Then there are the khaki pants. One pair size 20, too big but OK with a belt. One pair size 18/20, a little loose, but OK except for the white streak on the leg. I think it's from detergent but it won't come out in the wash although I've used stain remover. Another pair size 18 that fit well except there a little too short, so I feel self-conscious about them.

That's my pants situation. It's really sad, actually. Why can't I just make myself go buy some new pants? Well, being 5'10" compounds it because not everywhere has tall pants. And I don't want to spend a lot on pants given the whole weight loss situation. Of the 8 pairs of pants I've mentioned, 4 of them are "new." The others were from when I was this size before, years ago. But just 1 pair of khaki and 1 pair of black could see me through until the next phase...whatever that is.