I know, I've been quiet since the end of my 5DPT. I'm still at 183.5 but I'm really OK with it. In a size 14 in many pants and a L or XL in shirts depending on the brand. I guess I just don't have much to update with at the moment, just kind of puttering along, you know?
Like I just commented in Jennifer's blog, I try not to think about the loose skin and jiggle that appears to be here to stay unless I got some plastic surgery but it does get to me at times. It makes me sad that I gained so much weight that I did this to my body, but there's no going back now, is there? I honestly think that if I got loose skin removed and got some lipo, I'd lose another 20 pounds easily. My upper arms, my upper thighs and my abdomen are the most upsetting. Probably because I can feel, and sometimes see, the muscle in those places. I still don't want to wear sleeveless tops because of the batwing action.
I do intend to have children so there would be no point in looking into plastics until after then anyway, assuming that the money was there. My dear Beau says, "well, maybe someday..." but honestly, I just don't see it happening. Even if we had the money, I'm sure it can be better spent elsewhere. I'm not experiencing the skin and other problems that some morbidly obese people have when they lose weight, so it's really just cosmetic. I don't think I could ever justify it to myself.
At least I won't get upset by pregnancy stretch marks and loose skin when that day comes, because I already have plenty of both. Looking on the bright side!
The summer has flown by as always. We have done a lot of house projects and I did have several moments of being thankful for my improved health. An entire day of painting outdoors, for example, was tiring but not debilitating like it would've been. Reminding myself of these things are what keep me striving to eat well and exercise often, although I will always have my slips. I recognize that. As long as I'm on track the majority of the time, it'll even out. That's my thinking, anyway.
mental exertion vs physical exertion
8 years ago
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Our Beaus are so wonderful. Mine says maybe someday, too. Just him saying that means a lot to me because it shows he understands what it would mean to me. But like you, I just don't see it happening. We actually have enough money in savings to cover it (I'm guessing on the price, actually), but that would wipe out our savings, leaving nothing if one of us loses a job. Also, right now, I'd still rather spend money on a new washer and dryer and fridge! =D
ReplyDeleteUgh, the loose skin and abnormal bulges are beginning to bug me some more. Gosh, if only I were more "evenly" overweight, so many more clothing options become available to me! Alas, I was never like before, nor will I ever like that now.
It's so easy to play the "what if" game about the past. Lord knows I'm good at it. But we both know it does us no good. "What if I had this surgery before our wedding?" "What if I was able to stay at my college weight for the rest of my adult life?" "What if I..." yadda yadda yadda.
Darn you, why did you ever teach me the "batwing" term?!? After I read this I noticed I, too, have batwings when I hold my arms out. Ack! It really is funny looking. I've always had slightly bigger upper upper arms, even when I was relatively skinny. But they got even bigger as I did, while the rest of my arms stayed normal. So now that they are losing some weight (not all of it yet), there is very isolated batwing action going on. Sigh. How am I supposed to look cute in a v-neck sleeveless dress now??
You've been doing a lot of house projects, that's great. It sounds like you and Beau are nesting. I hope that all turns out well for a future baby someday! And LOL about not having to worry about pregnancy stretch marks! I hadn't thought of that potential silver lining. =)
Sorry that I taught you the batwing terminology! :)
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